主觀下沉 叫令星星垂淚
暖烘烘緩緩昇華
沒什麼留在谷底
除卻冷 除卻我

眼淚缺堤不會堰塞
自會納入臉上皺紋
險情無礙別人冷待
淡淡世情

我沒事
我沒事才更覺人間無情
在寂靜中
被不知名的什麼沒了頂

PS. 我都想去斬人, 又或者被人斬

你當頭一棒
敲醒　碎了我的魔
及以為所有事情都有你一起承擔的
夢　諾　心

這軟如耳語一敲
打？擊？破？　不是！
卻是詐
蒙我心　掩我眼

誆我吃喝進睡
誘我遊戲開心
難為你了
又為難了我

P.S. 誰能明白我的心

最終只能一個人啖著憂傷
已無力去推敲
你是太忙　還是從來都不曾上心
人都得靠自己
不管　活也好　死也好

痛不痛苦　快不快樂
盡是不能言傳
懊惱於意義之不能獲得、不能送遞
生之意義
就更更難以預期了

憂傷終只能一個人啖著
啖出了孤軍作戰的味兒
一個人
一個人過
......

P.S. 世界上並沒有所謂的天意，有的只是個人的選擇而已......

並沒有封塵的記憶
也沒有倖存的約誓
我跟你
原是沒有什麼都不太稀奇

從今以後 就不再煮為你而煮過的
亦不再吃你最喜歡吃的
我最為之動容的美味
現在都乾澀了變酸了

我們不至於道別
我們更不要道謝
畢竟不曾存在過「我們」

終究一切與你相關的
都封存在三尺冰內
將有天可以忘了擔憂

P.S. 要是明日之後，你開心就夠。難堪多久，我都會撐多久。要是能明白我心愛你獨有，問可知心裡那擔憂。游思行詞。

拒絕再拿自己的感情出來展覽

是日起　做回一個空心人
把裡裡外外打理一下
該捨下的通通棄掉
捨不得的亦然

去年用眼淚洗擦的情境
依舊歷歷在目
如今連那份情緒都失卻了
只能在樂曲聲中
流麗如舞步地
勤快收拾　

勤快地　將你們都壓制住
銷毀　再銷毀
沒有凋謝到結果
沒有火化到重生

要把四壁的塗鴉都收進記事本
要把掛在口邊的都嚥回肚裡
再刪幾個聯絡人　鬧翻幾個朋友
用一顆離線的心
遙遙的
淡淡的
自悲

Someone took away my sympathy
Someone took away my pride
Someone took away, a little piece of my broken heart
forbidding me to fall in love wholeheartedly
cursing me not to heal again

Someone left me some regret
Someone left me some relief
Someone just left me behind
telling me nothing
letting me grieve at a loose end

Stars are glowing darker
and everything look like faded behind the mist
My missing piece can never be returned
It just vanished with every color of the rainbow in my world

Not much like being wounded, since I am not in pain
As if a new scar given by you is filling up the crack
So itchy, so sweet. Somehow hopeful
Yet it is not easy to endure

PS. 英文詩用手機打, 又慢又長... 天喇...打幾日都未打完... 教我如何 sms 你呀呀呀... 我要 T9 呀呀呀..  : (

安靜地數著燭火
需要多少時間
獨個兒數著香煙
需要多少健康
才抵達對方

風聲　車聲　不只剩下
微弱的呼吸聲
跳字　鐘擺
刻意了活著的虛無

多架幾面鏡子
自己一個人群居
豈只三人對飲
的搭　活著
的搭　還活著......

PS. 總是讓別人失望, 總是讓你失望, 就當沒有我這個人, 可以麼 ?

分針停在你出走的一刻
只餘下時針努力地跑完一圈又一圈
就像我和你
在時空上錯開了
滑進了不同的軌跡

忘記了煙和酒　以及髮鬢的氣味
乾澀的面龐　凝固了的斑駁淚痕
鏡中頭上插了棵願望樹
倒影的背後卻長了尾巴

每繞一圈　總是不期而遇
如何接近　都只會錯身而過
然而圍繞著的
卻不知道是什麼......

p.s. 4月2日... 不是我的生日... 不是你的生日... 卻又為什麼... 心會這麼酸... 一個令人窒息的日子... 誰願陪我一起捱過這種日子呢 ?

三百六十天都過去了
剩不了幾日
漫極的幾個工作天
灰濛濛的鬱結
誰願　誰聽

無痛楚的乾心
兌多少水才可口的威士忌
推著你的手
掛滿一臉淚水

我不知道
捱下去算什麼
我不知道
捨下了算什麼

你快樂
怎的不再見得使我快樂
扇自己幾個巴掌
清醒才得個幾毫秒

用燭火去驅暗
反把黑影搖上了天
重重的壓在背後
倒不如滅了一切
在墨室中描畫你的身影



ps. 朋友，不該愛的人愛了，該死的只有自己，共勉之啦

完全分不清是午夜還是零晨
我踏著固定的步伐循黑夜裡踩
走一步　暗一分
到了五指不見也仍然匍匐而行
堅持著

是你說破曉前的一剎最黑暗
打後便是萬山渲染的華輝
無盡的暖意
於是便義無反顧的揮別斜陽

在前頭　在前頭
一路擦破了手腳　勾壞了衣袖褲管
掉下汗和淚　掉下更多的是怨和悔
艱澀地褪去一層又一層的髮膚

夜更深了　夜更濃了
慌張了　認輸了
又捨不下你給的信心
墨黑黑的四周
進退不得


P.S. 最近的夜晚都用來趕路，盡快走出黎明，根本就沒時間睡，是謂失眠。

從小喜歡看書，小時候沒什麼品味，巨著不是沒看過，便是沒看懂，所以小時候看的書都是比較低級趣味的。記得有一位大作家（？！）寫過一本關於快活的書，書中對快活的詮釋就是盡快地活完現世的生命，因為相對於死後的生命，在現世活著，只是苦海無邊，而死後，就是簡簡單單的到了彼岸，到了極樂世界。一切修行都只是笑話。

I am letting the drinks to knock me out, slowly from half past eight till the middle of the night
Let us, by pass all the sadness, and end our journey of this life
I rather not believe that there will be endless happiness on the other side
but at least there would be no pain at all, which is, my hope or maybe, my belief

I have never lived a life with any meanings or with you
I have not been in love which is so dedicating and yet so desperating
too joyful, far too painful
for which I could have died a hundred million times

My life is so unreal that without a huge amount of imagination I suppose I cannot survive
But just surviving is not a life that we want
Dreaming about you can only be worser if knowing that in reality I cannot hold on to you
My love drip off eventually to the tiny hole on the stone hard ground

Why but no why
I knew that it was my sin
Since the day I decided to forget all the others and sees only you

I am done with all these
Happy faces, People in love
Joking around, big laughter
Appreciation and gratefulness

Although you cannot make it at the last moment
But with all the good fellows
It must be a long night party
Hell joyful

The theme was gone and I lost focus
Can't help judging myself for everything. For what? For whom??
The more people around the more solitude
Never ending loneliness

But I shall wear my usual anti-sorrow face
Play as hard as I can
Cook well and serve well
Just
Cook alone and serve alone

ps. the party can refer to one particular party, or actually my cursed life. AND YOU ARE DAMN RIGHT, CLEAN ALONE, HOW COULD I POSSIBLY MISS THAT...and who would clean up my mess???

裝一種輕鬆 裝一種愉快
把骯髒大氣都吸乾
換上檸檬的清新
點一首你快樂 於是我快樂
為了驅除雜音

打掃 洗滌 擦拭
表面功夫無助於理順亂了的心絲
撫平不了內裡的皺褶
終究還是一籌莫展
可總應該會好了點

你緩緩以淚洗淨了晶瑩眼眸
你慢慢以淚洗出了絕色容顏
連我牆上的粉筆花都結出果實累累
當你正欣喜世事無常
我卻還在嗟嘆那花的凋零

掛上親切的笑臉恭送你
我要當個稱職的守門人
以後就算誰要闖進我這座蕭蕭的療養院
我都會一一推拒

你比我更明白
只我一個傷心就夠了

Not picking up phones
Not going out or even online
Home alone, completely isolated
Communicate only with this tiny blog window
where my thoughts can pass through to the outside world
let no one reaches me

Emitting my love to you from here
It glows weakly and surely no gain
Talking here to myself like a radio broadcast
listen to my own sentimental collections again and again
Pass along, pass away
Shut you out and shut me in

Please help me eat, help me live
Please at least help me get some sleep

You wanna draw someone's attention
which obviously wasn't mine
by your tired looking face
I know how hard you must have tried

Switching from one name to another
every alias flashes his eyes
Seeing you up and down
Together my heart floats and sinks

Hiding emotions into my paintings
each drawing covers a tail
The tale that never happens
so it won't have it's end

In some of the awaken nights
I was thinking of you
While in the others I imagined your thinking of me
None of them can be heard
The soundless whisper

But I am not any bitterer than I was
I am just adequate for standing by you
I wish you luck on you and him
let me stay behind the scene

So I lied about everything, I lied about every truth
The only one last thing I can ever think of coming out from your mouth
When we broke up
In a misty morning hanging with a handful stars

We lie because we suffer, because we are in pain
Lies won't make us feel good, but sometimes feel right
It won't make any better, but it prevents worse
But am I suffering?
I guess it will take another thousand poems to define

So at the end, what gives you more comfort
Is it me? or getting rid of me?
What makes love substantial?
Not the truth, but the trust

I am miserable
Due to a clot in my heart
The residence of my soul
If there is any soul left in me

You figured out all my presents are not from my dying heart
You manage to see there is a missing piece of me
except you cannot heal me
As in your world man wasn't man if they are not complete

Neither good nor bad you let time pass by
Not that because we know you are not good at anticoagulation
We are all so confused about love and eternity
and the denial of our love may one day become true
or our true love will one day fade away

I could not accept if there is nothing to accept
But to give, on the other hand, is easier
even if I got no heart left
Because my brain are meant to be poetic for only you
At least, for this one last time

I am so sorry that the only light emitted from me is darkness

不敢特別想你
不只為感情或如泡影
也許更想把片片思念都傾注入這詩
凝鑄為黑字白紙

像抄書似的寫滿你贈我的原稿紙
同樣是你贈我的心經
抄一篇多一點智慧
抄一篇少一點感情
可誰願在這紙片上填入一個句號
只能一遍又一遍

是誰強把這一切壓印在我的腦海
如像那戲裡的情節
你的心經也同樣叫我醉生夢死
這思念是你罪有應得

在呼與吸之間的一剎偷偷想你
眾目睽睽　不動聲色
思念在焦躁與冷靜之間斷成一絲絲
可惜這只是我們的第一首
可惜這只能是我們的第一首

http://www.truveo.com/B03/id/1970497227